Inzaratsi

Inzaratsi ni ibintu cyangwa uburyo umuntu ashobora gukoresha ngo ategeke uwo ashaka kwigarurira mu bitekerezo kubera inyungu aba abitezemo.

Mu muryango nyarwanda ndetse no mu bindi bihugu aho sosiyete yemera ko umugabo aba umutware w’urugo, bikunze gutangaza ndetse bikanababaza bamwe muri sosiyete iyo bigaragaye ko umugabo runaka adashobora kuyobora urugo rwe yita ku nyungu, icyubahiro, agaciro ndetse n’ishema ry’umuryango we ahubwo ugasanga yarahahamutse kubera igitsure, kutava ku izima no kwibunza kw’umufasha we uba ashaka ko yagendera ku bitekerezo, amategeko ndetse n’ibyifuzo bye.

Habaho n’abandi bagabo bumvikana n’abafasha babo ku buryo usanga bafatanya muri twose bityo ugasanga bamwe mu batazi ihame ry’uburinganire burangwa no gufatanya, gukundana, kubahana ndetse no guhana agaciro kw’abashakanye bita bene abo bagabo imbwa akenshi bakanavuga ko mwene abo bahawe inzaratsi cyangwa bati yagaburiwe umutsima wo mu ngutiya ndetse n’andi mazina atabahesha agaciro.

Bimenyerewe ko umugabo ari umutware w’umuryango, mu miryango imwe n’imwe siko bimeze.

Hari aho usanga umugore yarazonze umugabo byitwa ko ngo amushyira ku murongo. Iyo uwo mugabo atagifite bwa bwigenge bwe bwo gufata icyemezo ndetse n’ubwisanzure mu mubano we n’uwo bashakanye, iyo ahora atotezwa cyangwa agashyirwa ku nkeke yo kwiyenzwa n’umufasha we wumva ko agomba kugendera mu kwaha kwe, icyo gihe uwo mugabo aba ari inganzwa ariwe mu cyongereza bita ‘henpecked’.

Akenshi usanga abagabo nk’aba b’inganzwa barakanzwe ndetse akenshi ugasanga hari byinshi mu iterambere ry’umuryango adashobora gushyira mu bikorwa kubera ubwoba bw’uwo yashyingiranywe nawe. Aba bagabo kandi usanga batinya kugera aho abandi bari kubera ikimwaro ndetse ugasanga no mu buzima bwabo bwa munsi kwifatira icyemezo bitaborohera na gato.

Akenshi iki kibazo cy’inganzwa gikunze kugaragara mu bagore b’intavugirwamo bumva ko bifatiye abo bashakanye.

Kuba inganzwa iyo bikomeje nta kabuza bisenya umuryango. Ni na bumwe mu buryo abagore bakorera ihohotera abagabo babo nubwo bihagararaho bagatinya kubivuga ahubwo bagahitamo kwahukana cyangwa gushakira amahoro mu nzoga cyangwa bamwe bagahitamo kwiyandarika.

Zimwe mu mpamvu rero zitera abagabo kugirwa inganzwa hari kuba umugabo acecetse, akanitonda kandi yitinya bikabije (timid personality). Ibi biha urwaho umugore akumva ko agomba kwifatira umugabo we kubera aba yizeye neza ko ntacyo ashobora kumutwara cyangwa se ngo amuvuguruze kubera za soni zivanze no kutiha icyizere no kwihagararaho. Aha abahanga mu bijyanye n’imibanire y’abantu bakaba bagira inama abagabo nk’abo kwiha agaciro ntibaniganwe ijambo.

Kwipfobya kwa bamwe mu bagabo (inferiority complex) barushwa umutungo, amashuri cyangwa icyubahiro muri sosiyete n’abagore babo. Kuba umugore yumva ko yihagije muri byose kandi ko sosiyete imubona nk’umuntu wifashije bituma atubaha umugabo we maze akamutesha umutwe, amusugura ndetse anamusuguza abandi ndetse ntanamuhe ubwisanzure bwo gutekereza ku byateza imbere umuryango we. Aha bifata igihe kirekire kugira ngo umugabo abashe kugira uburenganzira bwe ndetse akenshi bikaba bimwe mu bituma ubutane mu bashakanye burushaho kujya ku ntera yo hejuru.

Hari abagabo bashimishwa no guhunga inshingano zabo bakishimira gutwarwa n’abagore babo. Mwene abo usanga batagira ijambo mu byemezo bireba iterambere ry’urugo kubera kwanga kugira uruhare mu gushaka ibitunga urugo. Mwene aba usanga basuzugurwa n’abagore babo bavuga ko ntacyo bazi ndetse nta n’icyo bamariye urugo.

Urukundo, kubahana, koroherana ndetse no kumva ko hagati y’umugabo n’umugore ntawe uruta undi ahubwo ko bose bagomba gusenyera umugozi umwe baharanira iterambere ry’urugo nicyo cyakagombye kurandura uyu muco utari mwiza ugaragazwa na bamwe mu bagore. Bityo bizatuma imiryango itarangwa n’imyiryane ndetse binagabanye ibikorwa byo gucana inyuma, binatume kandi umubare w’abagabo bahukana ugabanuka.